By Mariana Sampaio, LMHC, MSW · Founder, Mind Over Matters Institute · RO-DBT & DBT specialist
Most therapy is designed for people who feel too much and act too fast. But some of us have the opposite problem: we feel a great deal and show almost none of it. We plan, we perfect, we hold the line — and from the outside, our lives look like they're working. Inside, it can feel rigid, effortful, and quietly lonely.
If that describes you, there's a therapy built specifically for it: RO-DBT — Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy.
Overcontrol: the pattern underneath
Standard DBT was developed for undercontrol — difficulty regulating strong emotions and impulses. RO-DBT was developed for its mirror image: overcontrol. Overcontrolled people tend to be conscientious, detail-focused, and highly self-disciplined. Those are real strengths. But taken too far, the same traits calcify into perfectionism, chronic self-criticism, difficulty relaxing, and a sense of distance from other people — even the ones we love.
What RO-DBT does differently
RO-DBT rests on a simple, radical idea: healthy living requires openness, flexibility, and social connection — not more self-control. Instead of teaching you to grip harder, it helps you loosen the armor, tolerate feedback and the unexpected without bracing, rebuild belonging, and let yourself be seen. The goal isn't to become undisciplined. It's to need the armor less.
Who it's for
You might recognize yourself if you're the "responsible one," if people call you calm while you feel anything but, if you can't relax without earning it first, or if success has never quite translated into ease. RO-DBT is also a leading evidence-based approach for restrictive eating, chronic depression, and the perfectionism that travels with them.
How it works at Mind Over Matters
We offer RO-DBT as individual therapy and skills classes, 100% online across Washington, in English, Spanish, and Portuguese. We're in-network with Premera Blue Cross, First Choice Health, Aetna, and Cigna. If you've spent your life trying harder and still feel stuck, RO-DBT offers a genuinely different path.